If anyone understands

As I started my new journey as a devoted follower of Christ, the road was anything but easy.  It was hard to understand that a heart changed and a heart set free in Christ would come at such a high price.  From the inside out, God transformed me in such a mighty way that I was certain every human couldn't reasonable deny what great things God could do.  But I looked anything but great to the majority.  The cost of following the Ruler of the universe was steep.  My friends were now my harshest enemies.  My motives for following Christ were painfully questioned.  My joy and freedom and victory in Christ were seen as self-serving and self-righteous.  I listened carefully as my mother counseled me.  She said, "Jenni, if anyone understands what it's like to feel hated and misunderstood, it's Jesus.  If anyone understands what it's like to have your friends betray you, it's Jesus.  If anyone understands what it feels like to be rejected, it's Jesus."  I made a quick mental reaffirmation that at any cost, I would follow Christ.  Because what kind of God becomes a human, living within the limitations of a human body and a human world, to rescue a disgusting sinner?  What kind of God devises his rescue mission in such a way that I would not feel alone in my suffering.  A God whose qualities and majesty are worth glorifying is the God of whom I speak.  My journey has been more about realizing that this life has absolutely NOTHING to do about me (thank goodness!!!) and everything to do about making much of my Maker.  How does an awfully sinful sinner make much of a holy and perfect God?  I don't know either, but I know He is worth my fervent effort.  There are many lessons I am still learning.  And I never imagined that I would have to explain and defend to fellow Christians that my testimony is not the exhaustive list of all the horrible things I've done in my life, nor does my testimony indicate the end of my sin.  I am still very much a sinner in need of grace and mercy every day.

I write these words as my first blog entry, because I suspect that the enemy wants nothing more than to discourage me.  The words of my wise mother will comfort me when the enemy attacks.  I fully understand that I am offensive to many.  I will continue to be hated, misunderstood, and rejected.  But if anyone understands....it's Jesus.